🍫 30 Funny Chocolate Quotes & Jokes for Thanksgiving 🍁

At Le Chocolatier, we’re thankful for chocolate—and for you! As you gather with loved ones this Thanksgiving, we’ve rounded up 30 delightful Thanksgiving chocolate quotes and funny chocolate jokes to sprinkle throughout your dessert table, gift boxes, or social posts. Whether you're looking for kosher chocolate gift quotes or some holiday chocolate humor, we've got you covered.

💡 Try pairing these with our signature Dubai Chocolate Bar — available in dairy and parve (vegan-friendly) versions.

🍬 30 Funny Chocolate Quotes & Jokes

1. “Anything is good if it’s made of chocolate.” — Jo Brand. [source]
2. “Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.” — Dave Barry. [source]
3. “What is the meaning of life? All evidence to date suggests it’s chocolate.” — Anonymous. [source]
4. “There’s nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate.” — Linda Grayson. [source]
5. “Chocolate never asks silly questions. Chocolate simply understands.” — Anonymous. [source]
6. “Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing.” — Anonymous. [source]
7. “My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M’s and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” — Dave Barry. [source]
8. “Nine out of ten people like chocolate. The tenth person always lies.” — John Q. Tullius. [source]
9. “Life is like a box of chocolates … you never know what you’re gonna get.” — From Forrest Gump. [source]
10. “When life gives you lemons… throw them back and demand chocolate.” — Anonymous. [source]
11. “What do you call chocolate that tells jokes? A cocoa-nut comedian!” — Anonymous. [source]
12. “Why don’t chocolates have enemies? They’re too sweet to hate.” — Anonymous. [source]
13. “Why was the chocolate chip feeling sad? It had low cocoa-esteem.” — Anonymous. [source]
14. “What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE.” — Anonymous. [source]
15. “What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant.” — Anonymous. [source]
16. “What kind of candy bar does an astronomer eat? A Milky Way!” — Anonymous. [source]
17. “Chocolate is like duct tape — it fixes everything!” — Anonymous. [source]
18. “What’s a chocolate lover’s idea of a balanced diet? A chocolate bar in each hand!” — Anonymous. [source]
19. “I could give up chocolate, but I’m not a quitter!” — Anonymous. [source]
20. “How does chocolate feel about Mondays? It has mixed fillings.” — Anonymous. [source]
21. “Why did the chocolate bar break up? It found someone else who melted its heart!” — Anonymous. [source]
22. “Eat a square meal a day — a box of chocolate.” — Anonymous. [source]
23. “Put the chocolate in the bag and nobody gets hurt!” — Anonymous. [source]
24. “Chocolate: the answer. Who cares what the question is?” — Anonymous. [source]

🎁 Bonus: Tie It Into Our Signature Product

If you’re looking for a sweet holiday chocolate gift this season, check out our trending bar: Dubai Chocolate Bar – Large (and the Small version). Available in both dairy and parve/vegan-friendly options—keeping in line with our kosher and inclusive offerings.

🍁 Suggested Call-to-Action & Closing Paragraph

This Thanksgiving, bring more than just turkey to the table—bring laughter, sweetness, and the perfect chocolate anecdote. Whether you’re gifting someone special or treating yourself, choose a kosher chocolate gift that meets the moment.

Browse our full collection of Thanksgiving Chocolate Gifts at Le Chocolatier, pick your favourite quote above to share, and snap a photo with your chocolate for social (tag us @lechocolatier_chocolates).

Don’t forget to tag your posts with #ThanksgivingChocolateQuotes, #HolidayChocolateHumor, and #FunnyChocolateJokes to spread the sweetness.

From our kitchen to yours—wishing you a delicious and laughter-filled Thanksgiving!